Holy cow -emotional rollor coster or what!

I don't remember being this emotional with Valin, but man, I just couldn't get over it today. I woke up after a terrible night's sleep (it was major windy and there was a tree outside our window sqeeking against it). So I guess I was in a bad mood to start with. Yesterda,y I eat ice cream when I knew I should have and still had hot chocolate this morning, so I was mentally betting myself up about it. Then it hit me when Patxi and I were having a dicussion about my asumptions and tears came to my eyes. All day I had to fight them back, knowing that they were irrational. And it was just little things, like my sister not calling me agian or Patxi teasing me. I was so impatient and even cringed at Patxi's closeness. It was like I had a terrible cloud over my head. Finally it got too much and I went to my room and snobbed my mascara away. It was terrible. It probably sounded more like I was grieving the lost of a loved one and not that I was just having a bad day. Maybe things just boiled over and I needed to have my cry out. But I did feel better once I finished and put on mascara for the second time today. It's not like I have things terribly either; I don't know what my problem was. I'm just extra emotional, I guess. Crazy, huh.

Crazy idea, tell if you think it'll work

Ever since I found out that Patxi was going to deploy forthe Army National Gaurd, I was thinkning about using the extra time I'll have to excerise and losing (finally) the weigth I need to be healthy. I've still never reached my BMI of 110-130 pounds. And it is my goal to do so during the year Patxi is gone. But when I found out that I was pregnant and having her a month before he leaves, it made things a little bit more challenging. I really really really want to finally get fit and in shape. Sure, I'm better then I was before -30 pounds is better then 80 pounds over weight, but I'm just so close I can almost taste it! So here comes my idea: What if I blog about my experience. Yeah, kind of like "Julie and Julia." I need people to be accountable too, someone to state my goals to, and people to cheer me on, if I'm going to be successful. Plus, exercising and getting fit is something I like to do and I'll need an outlet for sharing my idea and experiences, especailly since Patxi will be gone. I just think that it'll be the extra support I need for this to work. But what do you think? Will you read and comment on it? Would it interest you that much? Or do you think that after day 248, I'll be blogging to myself. The purpose is to be accountable to someone. Will it work? Tell me what you think.

One nap or Two?

We have been struggling with naps and crying/ screaming when he doesn’t get his way. Both, I think are signs of his age, but the naps have taken me by surprise. He’s not quiet 15 months, but he seems to only want to take one nap. It started around the time Petra and Mikey came up for a visit (which was so much fun, by the way). I would put him down after the usually time passed, he would go down great, but then sleep forever (3-4 hours). The first time, it freaked me out and I didn’t really know what to do. But I continued with setting him down for a second nap, which he would do fine, but play in his crib, never falling asleep even after the two hours. So I tried waking him up early from his first nap and giving a second, but he still wouldn’t fall asleep for the second. I tried this three times and cringed when I saw how tired he got before his usual bed time. Then, I tried giving him one nap, but after lunch, though he was clearly tired before, and the one nap didn't even last 2 hours. So I was at a lost for a while. Then, this week I gave in, so to speak. Yesterday, the day before, and today I put him down at a little bit later in the morning (around 10-11), and he would take one long (3-4 hour) nap. He seems to do fine as long as we stick to his usual bed time. He’s still sleeping 12 hours at night, so I hope that means he’s getting his full hours during the day and not getting too tried between sleeping times. Boy, being a mother is not easy –and there is a lot more trial and error than I expected.

Am I having twins? Jerk.

Many people asked me this question while I was pregnant with Valin. I gained a total of 50 pounds (Valin was 20 of it so I could have two babies with that amount). Yes, I felt that since I was "eating for two" that it also meant eating whatever I wanted -mostly things fried and sugared. Since I didn't really see the effects of my choices until I couldn't hid behind the baby belly, it was hard to rein in my enthusiam for food. It seems like I either have to say no to all crappy food or eat it everyday. There's no such thing as my "one treat of the month" It starts to turn into my "one treat of the week" and then "of the day." Unitl it becomes a hard thing for me to only eat one treat a day. Ugh!!! I'm really having such a hard time, and I don't want to gain tons again! It was so hard to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight after Valin -which I did for like two seconds before I got pregnant agian. It's going to be even harder this time around because I'll have two kids and no husband. Ah!! I am doing better than last time, so far, but I'm teettering along the line of gaining too much. Stink! Do you have any suggestions? Any tips? More exercise is out because my bladder can't take running and last night I was feeling some contraction so I don't want to do anything too strainning. I need help!