Wow, the time is flying by. Just six weeks. And, yet it feels like it's dragging on forever. Well, at least with pregnancy, you'll know it has to end some time. I've just been feeling so tired lately. It's be more of a task to keep up with Valin and actively play with him. I can't wait to get this baby out of me so I can move around like I used to. I mean, who's idea was it to carry 20-30 extra pounds between the hips and on the waist? The back or shoulders would have been ten times easier! Who knew that bending down, tieing your shoes, and getting up from any sitting position could be such hard tasks. Plus, her feet have been in my ribs for the last month and a half, so I get soccer punched in the lungs if I slough or relax my posture. I just can't get comfortable anymore! Sitting, laying, standing! Ah, I'm done!! Stinkin six more weeks!
Deep breath
Please excuse the rant. Patxi hasn't been here, so I have no one to vent to. Yup, Patxi's been gone this last week (and the three weeks before that), which really doesn't help any of this. Out of the six weeks I have left with him, he's going to try and be gone for three of them. (The two last weeks, I hope to have and be with our new baby.) He teaches medic classes the 12th -16th (that can't be helped), he plans to work at his sister's in Colorado the 26th -31st (I'm thinking about putting my foot down because it's cutting pretty close to the due date), and he will probably work for his brother next week as well camping and taking out fences (the 5th -10th). And to tell you the truth, I'm about to have a nervous brake down! I don't know if I can take him being gone like this before he absolutely has to be. This last week has been pretty stressful because Valin hasn't been feeling well, again, which means unchanging and unexplainable winniness which rubs the nerves raw. Combind this with the end-of-pregnancy slumminess, plus my emotional anxiety of Patxi's deployment right when I have our second child, mixed with the fact that I just plain miss him and the emotional support he can give me -and you get me bawling randomly this morning. I don't know if I can take this. Can I just call a time out or something? Freeze time where Valin is napping and I'm laying in Patxi's arms. Ah! I feel like pulling my hair out, or just crying again!
Deep breath
There I go again. Sorry. But it does feel better to let some steam out. Thanks for giving me the outlet. I'll try to be less doom and gloom next post. But thanks for the therapy, because it looks like I need it!
2 comments:
Jessy I love you...and honestly you are the only person I know that is strong enough to handle all of this...you are amazing, and remember I can be called and vented to at anytime...Sure love ya!
Oh,jes! I'm so sorry that you weren't feeling well. I Know its tuff. But I agree with every word that jen said: you are amazing! and Strong enough to handle this even if you don't think you can, that's always when the Lord steps in, Always remember the poem "Footprints" when you have dout.
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