I've made a decision

Last Tuesday, we tried to wean Valin off his bottle, cold turkey. He nursed like normal at first and fell asleep (like normal) so we let him sleep and hope that he took enough to last him an hour before he was hungry again. After about 25 minutes he was awake again and we nursed. After a moment, he started to cry and pull off. I would try to latch him again but he would continue to cry, harder by each try. He was crying for his bottle. My milk supply was up and I was compressing it into his mouth, so the flow wasn't what dissatisfied him. He continued to cry, since we refused to give him his bottle, for the next 3-ish hours until I buckled and finally gave it to him. The next few feedings, even getting into the position to nurse, he would cry hard.
After that Patxi and I re-grouped and thought that a gradual weaning might work; give him the bottle every-other feeding and them gradually change to every-third, forth and then stop completely. The next day we tried that and twice he would nurse, and then fall asleep. We prayed that he would get enough milk to sleep for and hour before he was hungry again. We would than nurse him and feed him his bottle. But the other 6 feeding that day he would nurse and then cry for his bottle after a few minutes. I would of course try to calm him and nurse but he wouldn't have it.
This is the pattern that we've continued. I deliberated for the next three days wondering what I should do. I prayed a lot, knowing that I knew so little of what would work and what was best for Valin. I would have three options: continue the way we were (spending an hour and a half feeding him every three hours, seeking a goal of exclusively nursing which now didn't seem likable), just feeding him a bottle of milk I've pumped (which isn't the most convenient -just knocking 30-45 minutes off the feeding time- but he would still get my milk -the best for him) or bottle feed him formula (which isn't the best for him but not bad). Patxi and I decided that formula wasn't something we wanted to feed him and I was willing to nurse, but Valin wasn't really up to it. So that meant that I would only bottle feed him pumped milk and let go of my desire to nurse (until our next child comes and will try agian of course). I felt a huge release once I decided. Suddenly all the stress of struggling to nurse left me. At church today I smiled so much, I felt so good.
I hope that this option will work until I wean him with soild food. And I also hope that the WIC pump I have I'll be able to have on loan until then as well. I'm grateful to finally make tha decision and let go of the stress.

Trip to Utah

Last week Patxi's Grandmother past away and her funeral was on Monday in Bountiful, Utah. I was alittle worried about traveling for 9 hours with a newborn, but we went with Patxis' dad in their van so there was enough room to nurse. I also worried about the cold I caught the day before we left. Saturday I could barly carry on a conversation because I coughed and sneezed so much. But luckily, aside from feeding and changing my baby, I slept for those 9 hours. I felt ten time better by Monday morning. The one cool things about the trip was that all of Patxi's Grandma's prosparity was there. So that meant that all of Patxi's 10 brothers and sisters, Californian cousin and their famlies came together. It was great to see everyone and show off my adorable baby and the newist Waite. It's sad that a funneral was the reason why we all got together.

We were all able to stay at a hotel which meant swimming adventures for everyone. I got some great pictures









This is Rowen. He swallowed too much water and threw up in the pool.


Everyone was forced to jump into the jacuzee while the pool was cleaned. Rowen closed the pool down for a full 24 hours.



The next day, Elliot was in the jacuzee in just his platic pants that cover his cloth diapper when he messed and it leaked. Everyone was forced out. The Waites didn't seem to have good luck with public pools.

I was also able to see my sisters, which was so awesome being with them; bantering like no time had passed.

I was so happy to have them see Valin. It meant so much to me; to have them apart of my life. I loved to see them love and adore him. He really is the cutiest thing in the world! I love them so much.

Breastfeeding Update

Things are going alright. I just went to the Support group at the hospital and he took only one ounce. He had been grasing during the two hours earlier. He also would lacth, suck for a little while and then cry. Generally he would either cry or fall asleep. To me I would think he was done or just didn't want it anymore, but he still acted hungry. I fed him from the bottle next and he didn't cry but ate quickly and finnished it off. We guessed that he would be getting mad because he wasn't getting the amount of milk he wanted per suck. So we thought that if I up my milk supply, than he'll be more active and drink more. So this is my goal for this week. I am to pump for longer periods of time and at a higher pressure and even try using lactation enhancers, like herbs and teas. Once that happens, then hopefully breastfeeding won't be a struggle. Then the week after that I plan on winning him from the bottle. So...soon I hope he will exclusively be breastfeeding. I see the light at the end of that tunnel! I feel like, those I must sacrifce a little more sleep and the house can be dirty, Valin and I will succeed. Wich us luck! and keep us in your prayer.

more pictures!

taking a nap with grandpa.






Poor baby, he has newborn rash. I hope it goes away soon




Like father, like son


Patxi gave Valin a mo-hawk



my sister Jen and Patxi's also sucked on those fingers

More picutres of the cutiest boys in my life!

This shows a little bit how yellow he was. He is much better now.

Life seems like one 200 hour days with a few naps here and there

Life has been...I really can't find the best word to describe everything about being a new mom. It's crazy, amazing, wonderful, exhasting, scary, highest of highs and lowest of lows. Valin just had his two week bithday yesterday, and it doesn't seem like two weeks have passed. And yet it also seems like two weeks would never come.

Here is a little up-date on the last two weeks. Whe we took him home from the hospitol, he was a little Juandise (condition affecting the liver), which meant that he was very sleepy and a little yellow. Breastfeeding him was hard because he was so sleepy and both of us were trying to get a hang of the lacthing thing. I was determined to breastfeed him though, and made up my mind that that was exactly what I was going to do, no matter what. Anyway, it was hard. I was sore, everywhere and very tired and so was Valin. I was getting the latching and Valin wouldn't stay a wake for more than two minutes. So I went to the Breastfeeding support group at the hospitol and got help breastfeeding. There I weight him before and after feeding to see what he took. They noticed the trouble I was having and saw that he was yellow so they suggested a three step feeding process for me. First I would try to nurse him, then give him what I've pumped previously through a speciality flow bottle, and then pump for the next time. This was all supposed to be done within an hour, at least every three hours. The odject was to get him to take in a lot so he would pee a lot and clean up his liver.

So by the following Tuesday, I went to the support group agian, and he didn't look yellow at all and he would generally last about five minutes nursing before we would have to struggle to keep him awake. He was 11 days at the time and weighed 7.3. Babies are supposed to be back at their birth weight by the time they are two weeks so we had three days to get him to gain 6 oz. So we were to stick to the three step feeding plan, but get 8-10 feedings in a 24 hours. Valin was also having a hard time latching. We found out that we needed to treat the bottle nipple as if we are trying to latch him to it.

Valin's latcing has been doing better and we weighed him on Friday at the support group and he was 7.9. So our efforts paid off. Valin was still falling a sleep, even though he was two weeks old. We decided that it was because Valin has a very weak suck. He sucks well for the frist few minutes and then he gets so exhasted that he shuts down and sleeps. They suggested that I try finger-sucking exercises and then express milk while he is sucking so he gets more for his efforts. This seems to be working. He stays awake for ten minutes now, which is wonderful and a relief! I'm also going to be getting help from a lactatist that specializes in strenthing his suck.

So that's were we are now, just wanting for the day where Valin will nurse for twenty minutes on both sides without tryign to keep him awake -the light at the end of the very long tunnel. Wish me luck and please pray for Valin.

He's Here!!!!! Finally!

Join with me in welcoming to earth from God's arms:
Valin Kade Waite


He was born Feburary 6th at 3:14 pm, 7.7 pounds and 20 1/2 inches long.

I started to get contractions about 7:30 that morning and after like two, me water partially broke. After that they started coming less then 5 minutes apart and pretty darn intense. I was getting labor shakes and pretty nausea. At about 9:00 we got to the hospital around 10:00. By the time I got up stairs, I was in pain and just wanted an epidural. After the usual paper work, Patxi and mom joined me just in time to catch my vomit. Than they wheeled me into a room, and by that time I was having contractions about 1-2 minutes apart lasting 1-2 mintues. They checked me and I was already diliatled to a 5 and totally efaced. At this point all I wanted was an epidural. Every contraction I would moan "epidural!" while trying to relax, of course. It took about an hour before I had enough fluids to see the anesthesialogist. After that miracle worker, I was the happiest person in the world! I was actually able to sleep and rest. Oh, it was great! so then around 2:00 they checked me agian and I was fully dialated. Patxi was at class so I texted him to get out. So then I started to push around 2:50 and had him at 3:14. I torn in two different places, but besides that everything went very well. Patxi held my lag and helped me so much. His encouragment meant so much more than any thing the midwife could say.

So now enjoy the rest of the pictures from the hospital.

Grandma George's cute outfit!

I just got a baby outfit and blanket that she crocheted for my son. She has a great talent and they're truly beautiful! Thank you so much, Grandma!!!!!

Lastest up-date

I'm sad to say but I made it to my 40 weeks (actually 39 weeks and 6 days) appointment yesterday. But even more sad to say is that nothing's really changed. I'm still 1 cm and he's stationed at a -2 (which is nice because I didn't find out his station last time). But they did tell me to come in on Tuesday (Feb 3rd) to get a stress test on the baby and have my menbranes striped so they can induce me, if I don't have him by then (which they would be surprised if I make it through the weekend -like right, at the rate I'm going, I'll see them on Tuesday) So at least I have a date to look forward to. I'll at least have him then, or shortly after that.

But yup, I'm due today and I'm very tired of being pregnant. Oh, and just to explain the date on the floating baby to the right, I put the link up there after I calculated my due date according to my last period. But my due date changed to January 30th after my ultra-sound, I just never changed it on my blog. But who knows, I just might have him on February 1st, why not? Hum! I'm kind of passed the anger and frustration of still being pregnant, I think. I feel like I'm on auto-pilot, not happy, sad, mad, or excited. I just want him out!!!!!! It's ironic how you fear labor pains/signs 8 months of your pregnancy to suddenly start praying so deperately for them. The one things you feared is now the one thing you pray to have. What a twisted world! I guess it has to be this way so women are actually motivated to go though the pain of labor/birth. I just have a fear that he's going to be too big for a vaginal delivery. I really don't want to have a c-section especailly since Patxi and I want a big family. I guess, whatever happens is what's supposed to happen. I have faith that my Heavenly Father is looking out for me and will let happen what is truly best for me and those I love. That thought does bring me some peace.

So anyway, hope to give post the arrival of my son soon! Love ya!

False Labor is the root of all Evil!

So, I've been anxious for get this show on the road ever since Thursday when I found out how far along I was. I was starting to believe that I could "go at any time." But it wasn't until Sunday after church that I started to think that having this baby was a very close possiblity. Sunday, I passed my mucus plug (sorry if this is too much information). Yeah, so I thought, "flip! it's happening." But nothing! I probably got about 10 contractions within the last 4 hours before I went to bed that night.

When I woke up Monday morning, everything was as it was before, no pain, nothing. So I went for my regular walk, and also decided to walk Merle's dog (which didn't even last 10 minutes). Since it was such a good day, Patxi and I then went to the park to venture around and see how good it was. About half way through our adventure through Bush Park, I started feeling contractions and continued to until we got home. I didn't get my hopes up yet because I new that walking would just bring them on, but if it was real labor, once I sat down, they wouldn't go away. So when we got back, the contractions really slacken. And then it wasn't until about 7:00 until I started to get them regularly about 20 minutes apart. I was excited to go to bed, knowing that if this was real labor, I would continue to feel it through the night as it got stronger and longer. To my disapiontment, I had a wonder night's sleep, and woke up with a totally pain-free uterus. Ah!

So (now we're on to Tuesday morning) since it was rainning, I went later for my usual walk, but had some contraction before, while I was cleaning. They didn't seem regular, but I was having them before my walk. So I get back from my walk, which of course I felt contractions and practiced timing them. I plopped down with a book, seeing if and hoping that the contractions will continue, and they did, but slowed down. Then around 6:00 I started feeling them pretty regularly and at 8:00 I decided to write down the times they came to see just how regular they are. And for the next 2 and 1/2 half hours they were a steady 15 minutes apart. I would literally be able to set my clock to how regular they were. Then, by the time I got ready for bed, and the lights went out, they slowed to a stop. Ahhhhh! So frustrating! I woke up maybe three times, feeling contractions, but that's it! Ah!!! I Hate False Labor!!! Why does my uterus have to play games with me?! I'm afraid to go to bed now, because it seems that every time I even think about going to bed, my contractions stop. Ahhh, what a frustrating world!

It wouldn't be as bad, if I was the only one who would get their hopes up and have them come crashing down again. I feel so bad for Patxi. This morning in bed he turned to me and said, "Can you please have you baby so I could get some sleep?" (Which is kind of funny because once our son does come, sleep is one of the things we won't be getting.) This just shows how anxious he is, and I hate to see him suffering disappointment too.

I guess this is just what comes with the "having the first" territory because neither of us know what to expect. I'm sure we'll live through it, though. Hey, I still have Thursday and Friday, right? Wish us luck and keep us in your prayer.

The picture diary of my ballooning prego belly

19 weeks


25 weeks


28 weeks


32 weeks


36 weeks


39 weeks


I can tell the difference between the first and the last, but is there much between each picture? It's so hard for me to tell, it's all been so gradual for me. Well, enjoy and have a great day!

39 weeks and 3 days

I didn't want to wait to take a 40 week picture, just in case I don't make it (hopefully). However, I wanted to fully establish my final growth to blimpe size. So, here I am. Ready to pop, and hoping that it'll come soon!

A circuit breaker, un-cooked pudding, and disappointment

So today was an interesting day. It started with a little disappiontment. Even after walking two miles, I'm still only having contractions once every hour(ish). I was totally hoping that the only way was to progress towards labor, but I was disappointed.

Then, this morning Wanda (who Patxi and I look after along with her husband, Merle)asked me to make a dessert because she wasn't feeling well and they had company coming over for lunch. She pulled a recipe out of an old book and the title was "Mystery Pudding." I've never made a pudding before, I don't even think I know what it was susposed to look like. Needless to say, I was determined to stay strickly close to the recipe. I read it a few times and saw that it required eggs but there weren't any instructions to cook it, nothing. I double checked, tripled-checked and even turn the page, hoping it would be there. So I asked Wanda, but now I don't think she really knew what I was talking about. Anyway, she told me to just follow that recipe. And about the eggs, there was a part in recipe that called for something boiling being poured over the batter and I thought that it might cook it. So I made it, following the recipe strictly. So I served it, apologizing before hand because I still had a bad feeling. Wanda eat it and I tried it, and yes it tasted like cake batter. Wanda then said that it was susposed to be a cake and through gusts of laughter (thankfully) I brought the recipe and showed her that there weren't any instructions to cook. She apologized because she was the one who typed up recipe. So I took the bowls back and put the pudding in the oven (I still had to guess what tempture and time). Luckily Wanda and Merle's company were wonderful about it and we all had a great laugh about it. I still felt like an incompatant imbecil, but everyone was really good natured about it and they forgave me.

Then, after that, I was vacuuming my apartment while they were talking in their living room. I was running the vacuum on the same plug as the small heater, so after some time, I blew the circuit. Then when I switched the circuit, I wasn't tall enough so I use the broom handle. But unknown to me I also switched the their living room circuit so all of a sudden, their TV turned on- blaring. I'm just glad that Merle didn't have a heart attack. It took a little to settle things down and explain what happened, but we figured everything out. It was kind of funny, but I just had to add it to my imcompetent actions for today.

The latest Up-date

So I had my 39 week appointment today. It started out very frustrating because I waited for about 40 minutes. Luckily, I've totally cleared my schedule :) Anyway, so here is what she said: I'm dilalated to 1 cm, my cervic is 98% thinned, he's about 7-7 1/2 pounds, and his head in lowering but he's facing up, well sideways (his back is on my left). She stripped my membranes, so I guess I can go at anytime! Crazy huh, I'm going to have a baby! So I just have to wait and do some exercises to hopefully get him facing my spine. Needless to say, I'm very excited! I pretty much want him out now, especially if he's 7 pounds already, but I guess I'll have to wait. Well, I think that's all. I'll keep you posted.

My tummy's Alive! and an Up-date

I hope this works. I've been having trouble with it here and on google. If it doesn't work, I'll just post it anyway, and put the video on later. Anyway, so I decided that I need to get a shot of the greatest part about being pregnant: their movment. Since he's bigger now, he's movement has been more pronounced, more like him scrapping his arm across my stomach verse a couple kicks here and there. The problem is that somehow he must have known what I was up to, and like he's father, would tease me by doing nothing. I sat for what seemed like hours trying to get him to move on camera. So, this video is the best of what I got and only a mere glimpe of how realy active my jumping-bean son is inside me. I also wanted to share this with my friends and family who I don't see very often but love deeply. I hope you feel some way apart of this joyous and special time for me.

I guess I should take the time to up-date you on how things are going, since I'm due next Friday. I'm feeling fine, I guess. I've actually been having some contractions, which is good because, besides his almost constant movements, I haven't felt much by way of Barken-kicks. I've learned lately that a true contraction is a tightening of all the utrus wall/muscles (my whole stomach) and I should be able to feel the tension with my hand if I would poke it. Before, I just thought that it was like bad cramps, so when I would have gas problems, I thought I was having a contraction. Now I know a little bit more of what I'm looking for, so that's good. Anyway, like I said, I've had a few (about three yesterday and five already today) but nothing regular, so I must be getting "close" but I'm not laboring yet. Other than that, that's all I know right now. I'll be 38 weeks and 6 days at my appointment on Thurdays so they'll check my dialation and whether or not he's dropped. So I'm post when I get that infomation in two days.

Around mid-December I started to have a real problem with my feet and hands swelling. It started happening only after I would stand or sit for a long time. Then, after Christmas, I would wake up so uncomfortably swollen and would remain for many hours after that. A few times it got so bad that it woke me up. For those who haven't felt it, it's like when they take your blood pressure. It's the feeling in your lower arm and hand when the strap is fully contracted. I hate that feeling and would get it after sleeping, and if I sat or stood for too long. But lately, I found someways to combat it. Drinking tons of water helps. I walk a mile a day, so getting the blood to cirulate helps. I've needed to takes rests every now and then. And also putting my feet up when I sit down helps alot. Oh, when we drove home for drill on the 11th I had the worst swelling in my feet and legs. It almost made my cry. And I pretty much wear my wedding rings on a necklace everyone day now, just incase I swell up sometime during the day. It's been hard in the temple and at church with all that sitting, but like my Relief Society President said, this is the time that I'm earning my baby.

And yes, I'm also nesting too. Well, according to it being defined as a strong feeling to prepare the house for the new baby -which usually means alot of cleaning. As you could probably guess from my last post about the vacuum, I have been feeling the need to have my house clean. And today I totally felt the need to do landry, almost a want to do landry. Weired, huh! First I thought that I must be crazy and then remembered that yesterday I had done three loads of my son's landry (becuase I was told to wash them before he wears them). I loved folding his little sleepers and oneises knowing that soon, I'll have a baby that will fit in them. So today, that want was totally nesting. Plus, now that I'm not working, I feel like I have more time to keep up on my house and have it as clean as I want it. I love that feeling when I look around and everything is in its place. It was hard back in December before and after we moved because our apartments were messes. But now I can indulge in this need to have things clean and be ready for my new baby to arrive.

Now all I have to do is wait. Argh! I've come to the realization that since he is my first that he's going to come either late or, if I'm lucky, on time. I've accepted that he won't come early, no matter how much I want and will him to do so (which is probably why I haven't asked for my dialation to be checked before this week). Maybe if I accept this, then I won't go crazy with the waiting and even be pleasantly surprise if I'm wrong. That's the theory anyway, but I am getting pretty impatient now, but not close to crazy annoyed yet, so it must be working :)

Anyway, this is pregnancy up-date in a nutshell (though a pretty large one). I hope you've enjoy it! And don't worry, I'll post when I've got more news.